We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
