you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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