you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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