i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
