You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
