Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
