Screwed.edu
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
