just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
