I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
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One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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