We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
organizing the empties. That sober.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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