how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
