Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
