Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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