they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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