I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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