At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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