She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
