I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
