I must be too annoying 4 u.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
