I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
