Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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