I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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