What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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