So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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