More tranny stories later!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
