Whod you bang
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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