Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize