Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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