yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
