STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We smell like vodka and hangover
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