last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
