I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
