So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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