i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
