How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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