I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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