I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
