peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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