as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
