I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
