Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
