I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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