I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
