No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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