I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
