Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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