I have demons in me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
