i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
