You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If I die, sorry about rent.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
