i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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