3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize