Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
