i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
