I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
