Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
