I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
